“I’m too shy to present on the radio.”
“I’m no good at speaking in front of people.”
“That’s just how I am.”
Many of us carry descriptions of ourselves that feel like established facts. We repeat them so often that we rarely stop to ask whether they still give an accurate picture.
In the latest episode of The Unexpected Presenter podcast, “How do you Describe Yourself ?” I explore how these personal stories can influence the opportunities we pursue and the things we avoid.
What story are you telling yourself?
There are the things that happen in our lives, and then there are the meanings we attach to them.
You might stumble over a sentence during a presentation. That is one moment in one talk.
But the story you tell yourself afterwards could be much bigger: “I’m a terrible speaker. I shouldn’t do this again.”
That conclusion leaves very little room for learning. A more specific description—“I rushed that section and lost my place”—gives you something useful to practise.
The words we choose can affect whether we see a difficulty as manageable or permanent.
How community radio challenged my own assumptions
For a long time, confidence was something I associated with other people.
I didn’t always see myself as someone who could speak on the radio or stand on a stage. Those things didn’t fit the description I had of myself.
Getting involved in community radio gave me experiences that challenged that view.
I could learn to put a programme together. I could have a conversation behind a microphone. I could feel nervous and still take part.
Each experience gave me evidence that my earlier description was incomplete.
I didn’t need to become completely confident before beginning. I needed opportunities to practise and a willingness to learn.
Look at the whole picture
Imagine attending an event and having three pleasant conversations, followed by one awkward exchange.
It can be tempting to replay the awkward moment and judge the entire evening by it.
But a fair assessment should include all four conversations.
The same applies when reviewing a radio programme, podcast recording or presentation. Identify what needs work, but also notice what went well.
Perhaps your opening felt natural. Perhaps you explained something clearly or recovered well after losing your place.
Those moments deserve to be part of your assessment.
Choose a description you can believe
You don’t have to replace self-doubt with a grand declaration that feels unrealistic.
Start with something believable and specific.
Instead of “I’m a brilliant presenter,” you might say:
“I’m learning to present more naturally.”
Instead of “I never get nervous,” try:
“I can prepare well and speak even when I feel nervous.”
These descriptions allow you to acknowledge your current difficulties while leaving room for progress.
Thoughts alone cannot guarantee an outcome. Practice, support, circumstances and opportunities matter too. A useful description helps you take an action that is within your reach.
A practical exercise to try this week
Write down three sentences beginning with “I am.” Choose the descriptions you actually use, including the unhelpful ones.
Then examine one of them.
What evidence supports it? What evidence have you overlooked? Could you describe the situation more accurately?
For example, “I always give up” might become: “I’ve stopped some things, but I’ve also maintained important commitments for years.”
Finally, choose one small action that supports the fuller picture.
Record a sixty-second radio link. Practise the opening of a talk. Ask someone for constructive feedback.
Give yourself something concrete to build on.
You’re allowed to update an old label
An old description may no longer reflect your abilities, experience or willingness to learn.
Next time you hear yourself say, “That’s just how I am,” pause and consider whether there is more to the story.
You might already have reasons to see yourself differently.
